Happy New Year!

2008! I thought this poem, sent to me by Don's cool Aunt Edna, says so much ... and says what I was doing last night - worrying. We enjoyed a quiet celebration with a few friends here, then we dispersed soon after midnight to go pick up kids and know that everyone was safe. Phew.

Before you get into the poem, just one more comment/question. Did anyone see Dick Clark in Times Square on TV last night?! I found it difficult to listen to him with his slow distorted speech. Although his efforts were valiant, I couldn't help thinking he should hang up his party hat. Maybe that's not fair since he did seem to be on top of things (the short time that I saw his program) and has come so far. I think too, being known as the ageless guy, must put a little pressure on him to stay young looking and makes it all the more shocking to his viewers when he looks and sounds old. Is it good to see him out there as a productive old(er) person or is TV-land no longer his place?

The poem:

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when
Offspring become accountable for their own
Actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
Parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug, "It's
Their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
Stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
You stop worrying?" The nurse said,
When they get out of the accident stage."
My Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
And was headed for a career making
License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher
Said, "Don't worry, they all go through
This stage and then you can sit back, relax and
Enjoy them." My dad just smiled
Faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
Home, the front door to open. A friend said,
They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
In a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
Adults." My dad just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being
Vulnerable. I was still worrying over
Children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
Was nothing I could do about it. My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
Continued to anguish over their failures, be
Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
Their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I
Could stop worrying and lead my own
Life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
Haunted by my dad's warm smile and
Occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
You depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
Human frailties and the fears of the
Unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
That elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
Recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
Calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.